Into My Own

Writer's Block: Morning Decisions

2009-01-11T09:27:20Z

The eternal breakfast dilemma: Sweet or savory?

This topic was random and caught me, so I decided to answer.

Sweet, all the way. I need the sugar rush. Most people I hear from prefer it savoury, but I like peanut butter on toast compared to omelette. And there we go.

Attempting to be alive

2009-01-08T01:29:00Z

This has been one of the rare times I've logged into LJ since... ages.

I dunno, basically life has been a bit hectic in a sense. So much that I feel like I've fallen off the writing bandwagon so much that there's been a whole bunch of pioneers opening new writing lands in faraways places and I'm all but left behind, sitting on the ground and scratching random markings into the sand while I complain that not only my brain has rusted over, but that I've fallen totally behind in the fandom bandwagon as well (read: not watching TV anymore, the great gods!).

I've appreciated the time I've had in LJ, seriously. The friends I've met, the fun times I've had and OMGS the dramas and random squeeage with people miles away who share the same interest (it's hard to find rare slash fans in your circle of IRL friends who wouldn't think that you're either off your rocker or just humour you with lukewarm "yeahs"). It's been a whole... different lifetime for me.

But with the amount of (non)-blogging that I've done, I could write a book: How not to blog in your blog. Not that anyone needs instructions (look at the amount of dead blogs around), or encouragement. I've sort of seperated my "RL" blog with the LJ blog - which I thought to retain mainly for (non)-writing. It's www.sittinginateacup.blogspot.com, if anyone's interested, but that was just for (non)-advertisement purposes, nothing really interesting there either, haha. Lovely public relations officer I'll be. Ans yes, it's supposed to read 'sitting in a teacup', but you could read it as 'sitting in ate a cup' as well, either works for me.

To be honest, besides the excuses for not fanfic-writing, I'm also rather scared to write nowadays. Which is kind of the worst thing that can happen. I haven't read my friends list in ages, haven't read proper fanfic in ages, haven't kept up with the latest fandom developments... blablabla, and the usual omfg there are like 10 million writers out there who could do a better job.

Confidence, baby, confidence.

Haven't poked my LJ friends in ages, as well. A little guilty, a little embarassed and really miss you guys. How are things? Or, how are things, fandom-wise? Heh.

I don't really know why I'm rambling or what I'm rambling about. Probably the closest I can get to is that I feel that LJ is a long-lost ex-lover of mine which I feel like rekindling the romance with, but am scared - in a few ways - like in a relationship, that it might not last, whether it be either party's fault, and acceptance is another thing as well.

And there we go.

Sort of back

2008-06-13T03:36:01Z

Hello!

Well I'm posting this pre-last paper for my exam, but as far as I'm concerned, it's valid anyway. A drive-by post which I'll consider the official end of my hiatus. =D

Hoping to catch up on gaming and television when I have my one month off, but then again I'll be gallavanting around for two weeks having fun before I decide that I'm too old to be fitting seven people into a car and ten people in a motel room.

Fandom-wise, here are the works in progress and what I hope to do sometime... or maybe even see someone else do:

Works in Progress

CSI:NY

1. Noir 'verse - (Mainly Mac/Flack, includes other pairings as well) Set in the late 1940's to 1950s NYC. Typical noir setting with perpetual cloudy days, dark nights, fog, cigarette smoke and femme fatales. Mac is a WII veteran and former NYPD detective, working as a private investigator after the death of his wife Claire. Flack, a rookie detective, is the son of the captain of the homicide division of NYC. Stella comes into Mac's office with amnesia and a threatening note signed "F.M.". Danny, Hawkes and Aiden are included as well. Dark pasts, dirty secrets and murky futures. (I'll really appreciate information about that era, to make it as correct as possible, especially the trends and differing norms from the present, thanks!)

2. Mac/Danny - When do you know that it's an addiction? For psych_30. God knows how long I haven't touched that challenge.

CSI:Miami

1. Horatio/Speed - Mainly from Speed's POV, up til "Lost Son". Deals with a character study of Speed and his past, along with his apparently one-sided affection for Horatio.

2. The five stages of grief - Horatio/Speed

Crossover

1. Horatio/Mac - Just a challenge to myself to see what I can do with this pairing.

What I hope to do/see

1. Slash, any fandom - two tickets to a musical and UST in the dark

2. Maybe... maybe if I'm around for a while in LJ, a collaboration of fics based upon cliches. (eg. snowed in, locked in a closet, only one hotel room available, etc.)

3. Painful Mac/Flack. It's an addiction.

4. Two men dancing (ala Cpt Jack Harkness and... Cpt Jack Harkness dance scene from Torchwood, if you get what I mean). Ballroom/slow dance style. Realistic setting. Not dancing around in the streets or in the ballroom with everyone looking (unless it's a er... gay ball? if that exists).

I'd never dreamed of doing AU or crossovers, but I thought what the heck, as long as its fun and maybe a single soul would be interested in reading it, I should go ahead and do it anyway. Also, as prevalent as Horatio is in the pairings I stated, I'm not really into that guy. Okay, well, as long as you take into account that he's the uber-oh-look-I'm-so-fake-and-created part and ignore it, he's fine. He used to annoy to me to no end, but once I put aside certain things he's tolerable.

My next post might be about more... global issues. More on that later I suppose.

My last paper is so gonna die.

[EDIT]: Also, I'm cleaning up my friends list... If you think that me excluding you is somewhat unreasonable, please leave a comment and I'll add you. I'll basically remove most communities I'm not interested in for the time being and friends I honestly do not know which fandom they are from, or how I met them. Valid reason? Thank you.

Official hiatus

2008-02-14T09:13:04Z

I don't know if anyone noticed that I haven't been on LJ for a while, but I'm gonna announce it anyway. I'm on an official hiatus ~~from fandoms and squeeage and writing and reading~~.

I dunno when I'll be back but I sure will! Just that I feel very lukewarm towards fandoms theses days and I'll be around again when the urge to fangirl hits.

*muah*

Alive, sorta

2008-01-17T09:36:45Z

I have been on the internet, but not on LJ recently. Why? First, somehow only this site loads like dialup, and secondly, my friends/comm list is explody. So very explody that I can't even read through the titles in my free time, now that I have a temporary job.

I'm gonna clear up the friends list a little, mostly comms actually. Not that I'm not interested sometimes, but like mylar_fic can take up a whole friends page in a day, which is a bit of a blessing and pain at the same time.

Writing hiatus for the time being. Squeeing and reading fic is not on hiatus, though, so I will be lurking around anyway.

Does anyone know any original gay fics without sex and not fantasy/sci-fi that can make you cry? They seem nonexistent.

Drive-by

2007-12-21T14:54:59Z

So what have I been up to?

Gaming. Driving. Running errands. Cooking. Gaming more. Seeing my relatives.

After this commissioned piece is done, I think I'm going back to short and sweet. Or maybe long and without deadlines - the type that can sit around without me having to bother continuing it if I don't feel like it, or vice versa. I like short stuff. I miss short stuff. I remember the days when I couldn't write anything long.

Fandom squeeage for me has died down a bit, which is bad. I'll regain it hopefully, slowly. I think it's the whole barrage of fic and season 2 of heroes that has - is - drowning me. I think I have an affinity for the rare pairings. Oh, of course I absolutely love the almost canon ones, but they really run me dry after a while. I usually never really write for them for long, or at all. Take House/Wilson for example. Two short request pieces, that's it. But I still continue squeeing at them in the episodes. Claude/Bennet is getting too... unrare (that is not a word, but common doesn't seem right in the context) for my taste. Damnit. But then again it's Heroes. Unless it's Mohinder/Alendrajo or something I don't think I'll be able to run very far from it.

I can't believe I wrote a Snake/Ocelot (Metal Gear Solid) when I was fifteen. Talk about weird. But honestly, after playing a bit of the sequels again I think I'm falling in love with it all over again. Somehow Snake/Otacon is looking postively lovely to me. Or can I not look at anything and see slash anymore? Downside is I can't afford buying the console and the game (and I'm terribly lousy at it), so I don't think I'll be ficcing for them anytime soon. I hate it when you just dive into a fandom and they come out with 23094820384 sequels. I can't follow it all, damnit! Like Final Fantasy 7. If they had just stopped it there it would be so much easier, but now I'm so very out of touch I can't write anything about it anymore. I think there's a fine line (for me, at least), between watching something and liking it so much you're writing fic for it, and chasing after a series or a games frantically because you are trying not to drop too far behind in the fandom. Which is why maybe I should reduce my number of fandoms anyway XD.

Wonder if I should try my hand at baking cookies for Christmas. Then again these few days I'll be so busy running around celebrating and eating I might not be able to do that xD. Oh the joy of Christmas.

Anyway, to round this up... a meme stolen from futuresoon

Name a pairing/moresome from any fandom than you think I might know (or if you're brave, a fandom I don't know at all) and I'll write one sentence (possibly a very long run-on sentence) of how they spend a winter holiday together.

Fandom I LOVE YOU

2007-11-28T03:45:39Z

Ha!

This was supposed to be the slot for the friends-only post about how exactly I disappeared from the face of the ~~earth~~ internet and how ~~crap~~ everything is, but somehow fandom has revived in me and I shall now ramble about fandom in this post.

Fear me.

Anyhow, I have finished the exchange fic! Thanks so much to futuresoon for the uber-quick beta. Now I just have to wait and put it up and hope it's not too horrible (and thanks to futuresoon for the hand-holding as well, in this case xD). Shall finish veetvoojagig Mohinder/Bennet dream thing soon, and your uber-sekrit sweet charity piece. trascendenza's piece I'm having a little problem with. I totally cannot write that, but I'll try, it's a challenge =D.

Gonna catch up on fandom now. Starting on Heroes season 2 and morally grey november. I'll do some recs after that, but indyhat's piece is first on my list because it looks awesome.

And damn you, John Barrowman, now I'm looking for Torchwood.

Age of Empires II is hard and addictive and time-consuming. Bad combination.

Claude/Bennet yay?

2007-11-23T12:54:40Z

I need a beta for my horrible last minute Claude/Bennet piece. Around 4-5k words, not NC-17. Help?

Home

2007-11-23T12:52:56Z

So I'm home now.

Disappointed.

But hey, if I can't do anything about it shouldn't dwell on it, right?

Is it just all in my head? Argh. Damnit.

Going to apply for another university in the same course.

(Don't expect too much, tricia. Don't. You know you can't.)

....

2007-11-11T18:32:02Z

I'm going home

Double Post Yay

2007-10-29T23:01:56Z

Stolen from veetvoojagig

Wishlist
Step One
- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
- Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

1. An LJ layout. Especially for my fic journal. I'd love it if I had something mixed up with writing stuff and all my fandoms, OR a Bennet one would be love.

2. People. I'm quite lonely actually, for now.

3. Time to really relax and write or even just empty my brain.

4. DVDs that I never got around to watching, or even old movies that I love: Moulin Rouge, Love Actually, something along those lines. Or even like Little Miss Sunshine, things that make you think.

5. Heroes/CSI:NY/House season 3 on DVD

6. ~~Eddie Cahill~~, ~~Jack Coleman~~, ~~Robert Sean Leonard~~ Books. Books are good.

7. Better reception on my TV. I know that's stupid but it's so fuzzy I can't even watch anything even with an electronic booster aerial. Craps.

8. Unlimited internet.

9. Heroes crack!fic involving someone singing "I'll swim the deepest sea, climb the highest mountain just for you" and a romeo and juliet balcony scene. Bonus for Claude/Bennet or just Bennet/anyone.

10. A plane ticket to spend christmas at home.

omg flail time

2007-10-29T22:31:46Z

I have not completed the Claude/Bennet exchange, the awehsomez Veet's dream Monnet OR any of the sweet charity pieces (which are thank god, due on 31st dec)!

*flails*

Gimme some time to write please, coursework. *headdesk*

Introvertion

2007-10-28T18:43:46Z

Is it weird that I'd rather stay in and write/read than go out and party and drink?

Stupidity comes in many forms

2007-10-23T19:51:06Z

You are not stupid. Youarenotstupid.

I've been trying to tell myself that since I've started the course. You don't have to get 100/100 or 10/10 or whatever, you are allowed not to know something, you are allowed to make mistakes.

(maybe the fact I'm trying too hard may be contributory as well I guess :/)

You don't need 10/10 especially for a self-assessment! Hah! Believe that!

Real Entry... Sorta

2007-10-12T11:51:17Z

I realised I haven’t made a proper entry ever since I came over, so basically this is a rundown of all the ups and downs I’ve been having since I managed to plonk myself in the UK.

Thank God I’m catered, even though the food standard is basic cafeteria mass-produced, swirled in a big bin type. Lunch is the usual fare of sandwiches, fruit, sometimes crisps from the med school cafeteria if I’m still hungry. I usually head for the 5-10 minute walk to the catering halls myself because while my flatmates are decent people, I don’t see them around really often, except the guys who have each other anyway (damn, that sounded wrong xD). Dinner mainly consists of English food, four options with one hi-carb and one vegetarian option always. There’s rice sometimes, but I don’t like the way they do it – half-cooked. Haha. Well, to my standards anyway. Examples include Lamb Casserole, Lasangne, Roast Beef with Yorkshire pudding, chicken pasta and the lot. I usually just pick up sausages and eggs or just a bowl of cereal in the morning – not too different from what I have back home anyway.

So that’s it about food. I started off with that because Malaysians are the only ones who take food really seriously. I mean they even start off a conversation with “Have you eaten yet?” most of the time. I’m a little foodsick. I managed to go down town with my mum and get myself a plate of nasi lemak last week and it was super, mostly because I guess I couldn’t have it over here.

Weather’s okay actually. Then again it’s still autumn so I can still live. Hey, I come from a tropical country, that’s my excuse. It’s about fifteen degrees Celsius right now I guess. About ten in the morning and evening. I look horrible in my clothing, but I do everyday anyway wherever I am, so there we go.

Coursework is quite demanding. I didn’t realise it was true until this week came along and I’ve just been given my first assignment. Tons of notes and reading to do. Wonder if it’s just medical science or are all the courses like that anyway. My timetable changes every week, so I have sometimes an eight hour week and sometimes a twenty hour week. …Oh and I must mention I love the lecturers here, especially some of the male ones – they’re weird, weird in a sort of dry humour, casual, eye-closing when they talk to you way, not the Einstein or the old, stern professor type weird, though there are some of those around. In my world, that sort of weird is LOVE.

And I joined ballroom dancing classes, even though I have two left feet. It’s really, really fun, although there’s a horrible lack of guys. Come on guys, there’s nothing sexier than a man who can dance. This may sound wrong but I’d so rather hold a guy instead of a girl as a partner for dancing, feels so bloody different. So guuuuys, go for it, even if you suck. :D

English guys… even some girls, really drink a lot and like drinking. I know I’m stereotyping and generalising here, but I do find it hard to fit it when I’d rather stay in at night, have pizza and coke instead of going out to the bar and get drunk.

I got a few really nice friends. A few, yeah, but I still haven’t found the someones I can really click with yet (my college group, hint hint). Hopefully soon. And oh yeah, I’m hopeless at doing things myself. I mean I know how cellular interactions occur and how detergents work, but I can’t even do my own laundry or take a bus properly yet (got lost last week and wasted five pounds on a taxi). Guess that’s what it is, to learn. An experience, yeah?

I miss home sometimes, miss the food and the carting around in a car. God, I’ve never walked so much in my entire life. Maybe my entire life put together can constitute the walking I do in one week here. My mum’s here at my cousin’s place where I pop over on weekends. I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but having her around really helps. I mean, I don’t start getting very, very independent yet because she’s around to help with the problems sometimes, but then again I won’t start sitting by the road crying when I get lost because I can call her and she’ll figure something out, even though if she doesn’t it feels so much better that mum knows and everything will be okay.

So I just finished my chicken salsa wrap, and probably should get to finishing off my work before I pack up and go take the bus to my cousin’s place again. I don’t know why but travelling alone stresses the shit out of me. Hope I get used to it.

Cheers. Miss y’all. *hugs*

No takez awayz my internet life plz

2007-10-04T15:57:00Z

I got suspended from the internet today due to exceeding bandwith. What the shit is that? I apparently used up 2.4GB, and my traffic in was 2.08GB. How the heck does that work? I'm pretty pissed off, actually. Gah, oh well, I'm stuck here and I have to regulate my internet usage now, what else is there to do. I mean, I need to use the internet for loads of coursework, so yeah, shit.

(Excuse the cursing. I am pissed.)

Anyone have any idea how the hell I got 2.08GB of traffic out, with only 300MB in? I think I shut of Ares and other P2P programs already. Leaving it on the whole day would contribute as well, right? Cripes.

2x01 Four Months Later

2007-09-29T20:34:23Z

Belated squeeage for the first episode of season two of Heroes.

Mo-nologue was long. Really long. But what do you expect from Mo-hinder?

Claire in high school. High school cheerleading captain bitch. Can it be worse? Please people, we need something less stereotypical. Don't like how they're doing it.

West is... weird. Stalkerish weird. Not sure whether I like him yet.

Maya and Alendrajo add to the prettiness. Very much. And "Are you married?", is the show promoting incestous love or what?

Which brings us to Petrellicest. And Claire calling. I love the Petrellis muchly. And the groom/groom picture... I really love that touch. Nathan needs to stop drinking >.>

Matt/Mohinder taking care of Molly OMGZ! The show loves us! And vegetable pizza and Mohinder cooks! I shall stop the exclamation marks now. Ahem.

Morally purple! Paper business! Finger-no-jutsu! OMG, can't express how much I love Noah. <333333333

And I officially love Kensei. Hiro made me laugh like hell all through the whole feudal Japan thing. And "I broke history" is LOVE.

Awkward dinner FTW. Was surprised Bennet never answered the "Lemonade" to the lemons comment by Sandra. And the look Bennet gave during the ~~phone!smex~~ phonecall with Mohinder made me happy in the pants. I need an icon of that OMGZ.

Hooded man? Baseball hat man, hooded man... what's next? Voldermort with death eater masks? And the fella had some power, dropping off without dying. Flying? Regeneration? Super speed or something? Even in the photo they took it on the roof with the famous CGI sunset... what's with that? And what are Kaito and Angela's powers? So that's the man Mohinder met with (most likely one of the founders), Kaito, Angela, Linderman, "Dallas" (who most likely died of the same disease Molly had?), that's 12 minus 5, that's 7 left. New characters approaching I guess.

Lovely beginning. All I need now is CE to come back and the OTPness of Claude/Bennet to resume and I'll be too happy to speak.

Dorm Life

2007-09-24T22:06:12Z

This is my second day in my dorm and I realise I'm a fudging bloody prude. Everyone is out partying until 2 am in the morning every night and I choose to stay in instead and squee over TV shows and fanfiction. And I can't drink much because of the bloody alcohol allergies. Yes, m'dear, it is Not Good.

I just got my internet this morning. No torrenting. Daily allowance of 300MB. I'll probably have to get SKYtv for the Sci-fi channel, then I'll be behind by what... 2 episodes. Better than nothing, or the BBC channel which is behind by a season. Ergh.

And all my flatmates like partying. All British. So I'm the small Malaysian prude who stays in a her room all the time. No, I really won't go all pent up and start shooting up the place. I'm cool like that.

And I came on the wrong day. The wind almost killed me this morning. Apparently there's really bad weather coming in the West Midlands. Hard luck.

On the bright side my flatmates are cool with cleaning and all. Catering's lovely - they even had Malaysian curry on the list tonight, although it looked like lamb stew with oriental herbs with me. People are really, really friendly here. I'll get everything sorted out and everything should be okay. (Woah, I'm even starting to sound British... I think xD)

Tired, tiny bit intimidated, excited, hoping I'll get settled in soon - that about sums it all up.

Wish I could finish up the Plaunet in my head. Anyway, I'll try to fit it in. Don't think it'll be AU even if the new season airs, unless something really, really big happens with CE around (which honestly, I wouldn't mind either).

Oh and please my real life friends, email me when you want to. Oh heck, bloody email me if you see this. That's an order. Slap me with a trout, throw a sheep at me, whatever. Go on, whack me.

Cheers!

Random Post

2007-09-22T20:31:03Z

I just realised my birthday is one day away from Mr. Bennet's. Not Jack Coleman but Mr. Bennet's. I am so not obssessed.

No, really.

Hello from the UK

2007-09-21T20:49:46Z

I am in Birmingham right now, using my cousin's internet. Shall be moving into my dorms on the 23rd. Still getting over the jetlag and am therefore incoherent.

Short post to state I'm alive. There we go.

Heroes Bigboom Pimping

2007-09-16T16:46:16Z

So yes, my heroes_bigboom entry is finally up! It is here. And also, please check out notsostrange's wonderful cover art here.

(I'm so sorry, darling. I really wanted to wait to post the link, but I wanted to get it done this morning so I could sleep early tonight. *feels bad. crawl-into-box-kind-of-bad*)

So yes, IT IS DONE.

And my writing hiatus officially begins now.

It's a bit past my bedtime now considering that I have to get up early tomorrow to finish packing.

Update

2007-09-15T17:04:33Z

It took me one hour and some more to put up the parts for my heroes_bigboom entry, but there we go! (OIDAALKSKALJD VENTING! there we go) I just need to unlock it tomorrow 16th September American time and I'm good to go. Hiatus will begin soon. I just have one more thing to write. One more! I hope I manage to squeeze it in.

So, basically done packing right now. Left with the little things that I need to do last minute. I'm dreading the plane ride over. Fifteen long hours in the plane. I usually sleep, eat, use the loo, watch movies, rinse, repeat. Used to write in my notebook last time, maybe not this time around.

If you happen to come across any good (heck, any. OTP love) Claude/Bennet pieces or basically any other great piece of fiction you think I should read, just comment! Pimping is loved. I'll be unable to catch up with the friends list at first so that'll be greatly appreciated.

I'll most likely be on MSN and Skype, if any of you real life friends want to contact me. Email is the one on my profile.

The screen is swimming now. I totally need sleep. Night.

BOOM

2007-09-12T14:12:57Z

Okay, too much good fic at one go... can't digest.

Isn't it a shame?

I honestly can't read long fic, it makes my head swim and seemingly causes indigestion, but some of the entries are so good! Good good. Really good.

I am in a dilemma here.

(and my Peter/Nathan piece seems to suck badly in comparison. oh boy)

Buy Me

2007-09-09T10:01:08Z

Sweet Charity bidding has begun and I am one of the last-minute, first-time participators! You donate to request for a fic/video/graphic/jewellry and the proceeds go to charity. I am taking two fics for the highest bidders now. Your very own fic! Your requests!

You can find me here

Also, veetvoojagig is up for bid for graphic and chainmail jewellry request. Go here to bid. All in the name of charity!

You know you want to. ;)

OMG I CAN KILL PEOPLE ON THE ROAD

2007-09-07T12:19:50Z

People... I CAN DRIVE!

Although that seems like an easy thing but it wasn't for me basically because of all the bad timing and circumstances along the way. Nonetheless... I have passed and I CAN DRIVE!

MUAHAHA!